(I would like to point out that this is an old post that I had typed up right before or right when I had moved to Oahu 2013)
The first time I moved away from home was when I was 23 years old. I was born and raised in good old Ohio. It's not like Ohio was a super hick farmer-like state (not all of it). I lived in Dublin, 15-20 minutes from Columbus. I loved growing up in Ohio, I had a wholesome childhood.
It was September when I moved down to Savannah, Georgia. I had a friend from Akron to help me drive down (12 hour drive in my old RAV4). I will never forget her kindness in helping me. I was moving to Savannah and for 2.5 years I was fighting with my inner dark thoughts.
I was lonely. I have a ton of friends back in Ohio. Friends that were in my wedding, who came to my wedding, friends whom I never wanted to lose touch with. Distance shouldn't ever change friendships but it does. But life goes on. That was and still is one of the hardest life lessons that I have ever gone through. In the beginning you and your friends try their best to keep ion touch with you. They'll call or text you. I reply back and sometimes pick up their phone calls. But then I started to feel really down that I'm not home to go out (some of my friends went clubbing every weekend & some still do now). I felt like I was missing out and eventually they were all meeting new friends; which was hard for me because I didn't know who those people were. The calls and texts started dying out pretty quickly and all I felt was loneliness and doubt. "I'm not around, so no wonder they wouldn't hit me up."
What hurt even worse was when my other close friends couldn't make it down to visit me during my time in Savannah. No matter how hurt I was I knew they had a lot going on in their life and my bff was working at a new job (which required her to work hard for some vacation days). I was fighting within myself that I knew if they had the chance they'd come see me. But there were events where some have proven me wrong. And I was so shocked it hurt. That pain grew an even larger distance from me to them.
I had such a hard time about this but I didn't know who to seek for advice. Of course I've expressed my grief to my husband and he tried his best to make me feel better. But I just felt so alone. I talked to a few of my friends about it and they gave me their best advice that they could. But nothing could fill in this void. Sometimes I would wake up and cry. My husband felt guilty, thinking it was his fault for moving me away but it wasn't. I honestly felt like I was the "out of sight, out of mind" with the group of people who I thought were my closest. But they ended up being the farthest. Those were some tough years.
In the end, I seeked God for help. Every night I would cry about not being able to find a job (finding a job in Savannah BLOWS) and that my closest group of friends were not around. One day I was back home in Ohio and I went to a Friday night Bible study. I can't remember which passage my KCC Pastor read off but basically it filled my void. I had no reason to be sad like the way I was. God has given me so much relief and weight was lifted off my shoulders! I needed to wake up! So, I woke up. I finally stopped crying and feeling so down. Eventually in the coming months my husband and I found out that we were being sent to Hawaii. We made some time to make a trip back home and I had a one-on-one with my best friend. I told her just about everything but not all of the harsh details because I didn't want to make her feel guilty or less of a friend. I told her how hard it was to stay in touch and how lonely I was. I told her that its not everyones fault for losing touch but also mine as well. I felt I was replaced or looked passed. We are doing better but I know it will never be the same as when I'm home. I've realized that we are all on different paths and I am at a whole different stage in life than her/everyone else. And that's okay. Whenever her and the rest of my friends decide to settle down, I can give them all the support they need. I jumped on the married life wagon first, ha. Soon my husband and I will want to start a family. And even with that I'll gladly help them if they ever asked.
There are no hard feelings as to how our friendships become. I never imagined this when I was peacefully at home but times have changed and I have grown to accept it.
Always remember that no matter what life hits you with, you are never alone. I came home to Ohio a few times and surprisingly I've met people who were going through the exact same things as I was going through. People I never thought would go through the same shit as me and they ARE.
So, here I am again. Moved to another different state where I've never been to. But not feeling as alone as I did 2.5 years ago.
